On the joys and troubles of traveling alone

I like waking up in the morning,
and being nobody's teacher,
nobody's colleague,
nobody's friend,
nobody's daughter,
nobody's girlfriend,
nobody but me.

I like making plans to do
whatever I want,
when and where I want,
because I have no one to answer to
but me.

I like reinventing myself.
"Where are you from?"
"What do you do?"
"Who are you?"
"Contextualize yourself, please!"

And I answer as I please.
As the moment suits me.

But,
of course,
this is also lonely.

Sometimes I hunger to talk to someone who knows me.

To have to compromise.
To eat at that restaurant that you like,
but I'm not that crazy about
because it makes me happy to see a smile on your face.

And of course,
there's the inevitable,
that to be a petite young woman
in this world
means I have a curfew.

An hour or two after dark,
I begin to feel afraid.
I need an escort.
I've heard the horror stories.
I'm smarter than to tempt fate.

And traveling alone,
nobody's teacher,
nobody's colleague,
nobody's friend,
nobody's daughter,
nobody's girlfriend,
nobody but me
means nobody's obligated to walk me home.

And so,
some nights,
I stay "home"
in my rented room
alone.









P.S. Before you start to feel too sad for me... I have friends now, I promise! But, you know, it takes a while to get there. For me anyways. It is what it is. :)